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Fleur Susannah

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(no subject) [Jan. 28th, 2007|09:45 am]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|, , ]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

Yesterday was surreal.

I was in quite intense pain (still the whiplash, it has been amazingly terribly lately) and modeling in nothing but underpants for Nimrod in Paul's bedroom. I was having a flash unit propped up on my thighs or stomach and close ups taken of various parts of my barely clad body and all the while, Paul sat in the corner playing World Of Warcraft. I swear, that game is a disease!

When the shoot was over, I returned to my shapeless clothing with right arm in a sling. It is a bizarre feeling to go from nude model to covered up cripple in a matter of minutes. The pictures are looking beautiful so I may post a few here for you all if Nimrod agrees. If not, you'll have to watch his deviantart page (http://shraka.deviantart.com/). It is worth watching anyway.

I feel incredibly cut off from the world right at this moment. On Australia Day, I went up to Emerald for GemCo Players celebrations. I ended up in too much pain to drive home and Nimrod had to come and pick me up (don't I have amazing friends?). Last night I left my phone at Paul's so now I have no car non phone. Most distressing! At any rate, this is a dull, dull post so I'll leave it here. Summing up: Naked! Cameras! Damn WoW! Pain!
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By way of community service, Fleur does your horoscopes for 2007 [Jan. 12th, 2007|05:05 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|, ]
[mood |soresore]
[music |Sweeny Todd]

Aries: March 21- April 19

This is a year of beginnings. The stars are in your favour when it comes to starting up an exciting and possibly addictive new hobby. Try nicotine, alcohol, LSD, sex without commitment and World of Warcraft. This is your year!

Taurus: April 20- May 20

Famous people will flirt with you on Melbourne Cup day. You won't be able to avoid it.

Gemini: May 21- June 21

This is a year of reflection for the Gemini. Dwelling of the past is a natural and healthy way to deal with current trauma. Try googling your exes. Make up a dozen new email addresses and harass them with emails such as the following:

Hey babe,
was thinking of you the other night. We sure had some good times. I've been experiencing some difficulties passing urine and have been advised to take a variety of STD tests. It is probably nothing serious but you might want to get it looked at too.
bye Cuddle-bum.

Be sure to use a variety of embarrassing pet names.

Cancer: June 22- July 22

Wear sunscreen or you will die.

Leo: July 23-August 22

This is your lucky year, when it comes to relationships. You will be unstoppable in the dating arena. Pre-marital sex is also in.

Virgo: August 23- September 22

This is a year for confronting your problems head on. The stars say that, in the case of persistent door-to-door salesmen, violence is okay.

Libra: September 23- October 22

Ahh, Libra, Libra. I'm afraid that this year you will find your aura cluttered and untidy. Your life shall become chaotic and fractured and you will have a hard time locating your car keys. All I can really recommend to guide you through this troubled time is drink lots of water, meditate and maintain a strict level of personal hygiene.

Scorpio: October 23- November 21

Your enthusiasm and creativity will not go unnoticed this year. Business opportunities are looking up. Take a video camera, a good pal, candle wax and go for it!

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21

No matter how witty it may seem at the time, never use potentially offensive terms to describe mentally disabled people, even amongst your friends. It is unnecessary at the best of times but this year the stars have conspired to make your timing horrendous. There will always be some poor child in a wheelchair or a woman with a cane within hearing distance. It just won't work. Believe me.

Capricorn: December 22- January 19

The stars hint that this will be a year of water shortages. For the Capricorn, bathing standing in a bucket to collect excess grey water is advised. If you are already doing this, it is time to upgrade to washing out of a bucket. In this manner you can reduce your water usage from 70-150 litres per wash to 8-14 litres. You will be sweet smelling, feel virtuous and have something to brag about to your greeny friends.

Aquarius: January 20-Febuary 18

Your love life could do with a dramatic shake up. You know it and so do the stars. Try uniforms.

Pisces: February 19-March 20

Style-wise, this is your year. Where you go, others will follow. This kind of responsibility can be difficult to bare at times. When setting the style this season, please remember, for my sakes if nothing else, just how under rated the stocking is.
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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2006|03:37 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

I do with the doggies would stop eating poo outside my bedroom window. Most off putting.


In other news, I thought to finish the year I would find just a couple of pictures that summed up the year. I invite you do to the same, either in your journal or in a comment. Just find a few pictures and write short captions.


Read more...Collapse )

So now your turn. Post pictures and captions. Go.
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Oliver's Christmas Message [Dec. 26th, 2006|12:22 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|, ]
[mood |amusedamused]

m, dvfgbh5hgrt5g4hbyrghedhdC bh0[]
vcn ,.,
O, 56O, 56 3 `2d3fffffffffffffffffffffff nbkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk xdJ NJH jinjimmn
l;'lkmnhl'mn bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjkkkmmmmmmmjnjnnnnnnnnnm
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Fleur does Christmas (again) [Dec. 26th, 2006|12:01 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[mood |melancholymelancholy]
[music |Perfect Circle, 'Imagine']

I hate Christmas. I really do. Even the promise of gifts is not enough to redeem it. You see, I really do not like being around my extended family. They make me feel that I am an incredibly Bad Person. Individually I get along with most of them quite well but when they are a collective I seem to be constantly About To Offend.

Many a Christmas has been characterised by What Terrible Topic of Conversation Fleur Happily Bounced Into and many a stoney silence has been left in my wake. The drive home seems to be primarily made up of my silent wonderings: ‘Am I a really horrible person? Have I just never noticed before how truly embarrassing I am to have around? How inappropriate I am? How I barge through everyone else’s established barriers of politeness and shock without even meaning to? Can I never be trusted out of the confines of my own room again?’

To my credit, my family can be very easy to offend. I was very pleased with myself this year for avoiding another stoney silence by stopping myself before I told this story: I have a theory that if Jesus came back today he would either need mass media coverage or he would be my friend, Zoe: working on a really local level, being excessively happy all the time and organising socials for the local St Marks youth group (which she affectionately calls ‘Skram’- ‘Marks’ backwards, you see).

Well, thank goodness I stopped myself in time before uttering that conversation killer!

It is funny: if you are gay, transgender, smoke dope, are a prostitute, are poly or are in an unconventional relationship, I am pretty much guaranteed not to offend you. On the other hand, if you are strictly Main Stream or Christian, I will usually blunder. I have been told that I am the perfect person to Come Out to about pretty much anything because nothing seems to surprise me when it comes to sexuality, fetishes, fantasies or exploits. One friend, Cheyney has pointed out that whenever someone is playing a challenging bizarre role in a play I will pipe up ‘Oh, I have a friend who has done that’ or ‘is that’ or ‘believes that. I could probably see if they would explain it for you!’ Why then does a troublesome little thing like Christianity or being conservative throw me so much? Why can I be perfectly at ease with a dominatrix couple and yet squirm with discomfort when my uncle thanks the Lord for our safe delivery to this state? Why can I discuss what percentage of my male friends can give themselves a blow job and not make it through a family dinner without blushing bright red? It makes me feel like a terrible person.



PS. I am taking 9 tables a day and three doses of a liquid medicine. It makes my life a much happier place. The pain is dramatically reduced.


Fleur's hint of the day for being a Good Person: Wash your hands.
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(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2006|12:16 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|, , , , ]
[mood |pleasedpleased]

Well, I certainly spoke too soon in regards to my health. I had a brief moment in the sun and then it was back to debilitating pain and discomfort. I can only really stay still for about twenty minutes and then I have to go and do alot of bizarre movements to undo the damage. Yesterday I was so virtuous. I spent something like 6 hours in intense physical activity in an attempt to please my body. It was no good. At about 6pm I lost my battle and cried pathetically again for the first time in several days. The main reason was that I was absolutely dreading driving back to Melbourne. Considering how painful it is sitting still long enough to write this, the idea of driving for ten hours was terrifying. Then it occured to me: I don't have to drive. I got a $2000 tax return. I can fly home. I rang Nimrod, still excessively teary (although I think I managed to sound quite rational and normal, didn't I?) and he agreed to pick me up from the airport and I booked the flight. This has lifted a massive weight from my mind.

And today I had another lovely treat. My parents wanted to develope some of the pictures I took of my father's 50th birthday party to give to relatives for Christmas. I went to collect them today. They look just beautiful all framed and printed. The best part was how impressed the photo shop man was. He has been in the industry for years and is quite a lovely photographer himself. He told me what a treat it had been to work on such beautiful photos and what a gift my compositional skills were. It absolutely made my week. He was so respectful of my work. He treated me as a proffessional and had a hardcore discussion about the equiptment I preference (which I bullshitted my way through quite well without saying "I'm really poor so those lenses that I 'prefer' are actually the only ones I own!").

So, despite everything else, today is going to be a Good Day. And I am looking forward to being back in Victoria.
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A good day [Dec. 18th, 2006|12:16 pm]
Fleur Susannah
Yesterday I made it through a whole day without crying! I was incredibly proud of that. It seemed like a long time since I have managed a tear-free day. In reality, it has probably been only a week or so. Today, unless I do something unexpected like cut off my own ear, I think I shall continue this record. Today I am in the least amount of pain I have been in for about a month. It is fabulous! I can pretty much function! I walked 400 meters today. It was grand.
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Fleur does Christmas [Dec. 17th, 2006|02:08 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|]
[mood |amusedamused]

Now, I must admit, I am not really into Christmas. However, today was Christmas Tree Decorating Day in my parents house and I found something to get excited about.



Read more...Collapse )

In other news, I have taught myself to drink tea. This makes me feel very grown up.
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(no subject) [Dec. 14th, 2006|01:18 pm]
Fleur Susannah
Come on people! Post long, funny and interesting posts, full of pictures and colourful things! I am crying too much from pain to leave the house or to do any of the things I was planning on doing today so all I have to entertain me in the constant search for new hankies and your posts. Direct me to toons that you like or make me proof read your work, anything! Just please distract me from the absolute hell which I am stuck in. I am sorry to whine. No I'm not. I'm in too much pain to be sorry. The whole front of my tops is soaked with tears and everywhere I go I leave tears on the carpet, the tables, the benches, the keyboard. I just wish it was night so I could be unconcious. I wish it would all go away. I am too young for this. It really isn't fair. Shit. Fuck. Shitness. I will be amazed if this isn't full of spelling mistakes. I can't see a thing. So maybe long winded posts won't be of much help. I want to pass out. No, I really am sorry for using this journal like this. I am sorry to you all. It just hurts so much and has for so long. I can't cope with it.

Edit: 4:05 pm
Well the bath was lovely while it lasted and I got a phone call from our family's physio telling me to come by at 4:30 which is fabulous. The bath was so nice that I began to feel guilty that I would arrive and be all better and there would be nothing for her to do. Getting out of the bath disproved this theory. The pain returned instantly.
I spoke tearfully on the phone to my mother and she has come up with a new plan: they will fly Hannah back on Saturday so that she can return to our puppies (although they are being beautifully looked after by muizarts and fireflyfaery). This will avoid the Fleur-having-to-be-driving-for-many-hours-aggravating-her-shoulder thing. They will keep me in SA for another week because the fact that I can't through off this cold on top of all the other ailments has made my mother decide that I am just too run down to go back to Victoria. She plans to keep me here, feed my mother-made-food, enforce rest and make me all better and then she, Dad and I will drive Hannah's car over together. This suits me just fine although I feel very guilty about missing two weeks of Wyrd Sisters. And I am missing my Victorian kiddies already. But still: HEALTH! It will be GREAT!
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Modern, common-place magic [Dec. 13th, 2006|11:47 pm]
Fleur Susannah
[Tags|, , , ]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

I think there is a certain magic surrounding airport arrival gates. I have studied it for many a long year. When I awaited for my grandparents to arrive from Victoria (you had to wait a long time as they were always the last to arrive on account of Grandpa's arthritis) one might have thought I was just another excited child but, in reality, I was an expert, even then, on the magic of airport arrival gates. This business with hugging grandparents was all just cover for the careful scientific observations I was making.

My theory is this: it is mighty difficult to walk through an airport arrival gate and not smile. Particularly for my family. We seem to be particularly susceptible to this type of bewitchment but others often succumb to it also.

I have tried to beat this spell. I can not tell you how hard I have attempted to replace the goofy grin with a cool, sexy, emotionless stare. It does not work. Even staring fixedly at your shoes will not help. I have particularly struggled with this when there is no one waiting to meet me. It seems foolish to emerge grinning only to wander off alone. And yet STILL, I can not resist. I am doomed to forever look goofy when leaving a plane.

On Monday night I flew into Adelaide for a brief visit. Well, it feels more like a business trip then anything else. The purpose of me being here is to a) cater for my father's office opening (I have to fix up the samosa I almost ruined yesterday) and b) to drive Hannah's car back to Victoria (which I am absolutely dreading). Now, as many of you are aware, my body has been shit lately. Well it out-did itself on the plane trip over. The pain from the whip-lash injury had spread down my shoulders and arms and into my hands. I could feel them pulsating, it was that intense. The sickness I have had for the last three weeks has in no way responded to the anti-biotics I have been put on and my lungs were regularly tortured with coughing fits. My eyes were so bad that I could barely see out of the left one and, to top it all off, the ten minutes of landing produced agonising pain in my ears which resulted in my second public cry in the last week and the third in the last two years. (Public crying is usually something which happens to other people). Despite all this and my tear-damaged face, I managed to prove my hypothesis correct: I grinned with an amazingly goofy intensity the instant I saw my beloved father waiting for me.
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